Positive parenting tips: TEARLESS DROP-OFFS AND PICK-UPS

Slow down. Being in a hurry creates tension that children can sense. Stressful situations make fertile ground for tears and tantrums.

  • Have your children help you get ready the night before.
  • If your child misses you, give them something of yours they can put in their pocket to help them remember you.
  • Avoid over drawn out, over-comforting good-byes. Be confident that your child will be fine. Create a fun routine instead.
  • Before you arrive to pick up your child, put yourself “in the mood” – clear your mind of work, chores, dinner so that you can be totally available to your child. Take three deep relaxing breaths as you walk in the door.
  • Make sure your face lights up when you see your child. Take a moment to give your child undivided attention before you leave.

Try saying:

“I’ll walk you in, you put up your backpack, I’ll give you a hug and kiss, then a high five, and I leave.”

“I know you are going to have a lot of fun here even if you miss me a bit.”

“It’s so great to see you!”

From Kath Kvols, www.redirecting childrensbehavior.com

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Dealing with power struggles and setting limits

by Lois Haultain and Karan Simms

“No, I won’t and you can’t make me!” That’s what a toddler’s folded arms and defiant looks seem to say. It’s an invitation to a power struggle, which is the main misbehaviour from childhood we take through to adulthood. It often takes a new parent by surprise, stirring up feelings of anger and resentment , and a desire to “make that child” do whatever it is we’re asking.

Most parents first experience their child’s attempts at autonomy at about age two. They feel challenged and often a battle of wills begins that lasts throughout childhood and the teen years. Parents can turn these trying times into a rewarding growth period for them and their children by shifting their perspective concerning the child’s behaviour and by becoming clever and creative in responding to the child’s perceived “headstrong, rebellious, stubborn, frustrating, negative” behaviour.
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